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Its official, I am a fair-weather commuter on my Caponord. The weather is right, the commute is easy, and the fuel economy is 40+ mpg - WOOHOO! I say fair weather because in another six weeks or so, it will be too hot to ride home in the afternoon as a modest 105F (but its a dry heat) ;).

My usual outer attire is an Arai RX7RR4 full-face helmet, AlpineStar gloves and a Cycleport Kevlar jacket. As for the bottom half, nothing protective except the jeans or khaki’s I wear to work. I know, I know…I should dress to crash. I know, I don’t protect my legs properly. Today, it could have mattered.

As I was cruising home on a divided highway that is brand new and virtually empty all the time, I noticed my neck tickling a little. Figuring it was the wind, or that my collar had come undone I thought nothing of it. Then I felt the left side of my mouth where the upper and lower lips meet tickle. Hmmm, strange. Then the tickle started moving up my face a little. At this point I was sure there was a gnat or some other bug in my helmet crawling on my face and annoying me.

There it appeared - the culprit ladybug. I used to always play with ladybugs as a kid and because of that its the rare bug that I don’t squash. So, I said to myself “Hi ladybug” and thought about opening my visor to let her free. Boom! Another ladybug appeared right under the first. That’s weird. Two ladybugs in my helmet. BOOM!!! Another ladybug appeared in my helmet immediately under the second one. Something was not right.

I don’t fear ladybugs, but three of them together, immediately on top of each other, and all moving at the same speed in the same direction definitely required a closer look. I say that a little tongue and cheek as I was already at the close range focus limit.

Oh shit. It was not three ladybugs but what I am guessing was something that was one inch in total length, having ’some’ orange in color, cruising around my face and working its way up my helmet. I calmly opened my visor, grabbed a hold of this critter, squeezed as hard as I could and flicked the carcass off my glove. In the process of doing so, I had also pulled out the nose-piece that attached to the lower opening somewhat sealing the breathing air from the air in the visor (I am sure for anti-fog benefits).

This whole time I had my eyes off the road I had veered only a couple feet from the center of the lane, thankfully. Had I over-reacted, I could have gone off-roading and fought the losing battle of denim abrasion testing.

I don’t know what the hell was in my helmet…and on my face. I don’t know if it even bites or stings. What I know is that having a large insect of any kind trapped no more than an inch or so away from your eyeballs that has a measurable wingspan SUCKS. What I also know is that this took fifteen minutes longer to type than it should have since I have to stop and itch my mouth and nose with each and every sentence!

I need a neck to helmet condom or something to lock out the critters. Any inventors out there?