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What the heck am I talking about?  How is this motorcycle related?  Ten days after my first daughter was born, I did what is in the title.  It was a glory-free 0mph get-off on the dirt bike.  I was hill climbing on my YZ426f that was set up for motocross - DUMB.  It had a small rear sprocket for speed and was not tuned for the trails.  Here is a perfect picture of the results (never mind that copyright thing):

And I’ll be damned if my actual post-op ankle didn’t look exactly like that one above.  OK, wrong foot but an about as close to a match as you can get.  This was my ankle:

Now I know the doctor did a textbook job…or at least a doctor’s wall poster job. 

That was almost four years ago.  Yesterday, I rid myself of my Franken-ankle.  This time the post-op condition was much better.  I was walking unassisted with full weight in about six hours after the surgery, albeit with a limp.  I took two Percocet immediately following the surgery and that was all that was necessary.  Hell, I even went to work today.

As for my souvenier:

That plate will somehow make a nice remote master cylinder reservoir bracket one of these days…I promise.

This was a purely elective surgery as many people leave their hardware installed.  Not me.  There is absolutely no meat around the ankle bone and this was a rather thick plate.  I could see and feel the corners of the plate protruding from my skin.  It did not allow me to wear leather dress shoes, roadrace style boots, ice skates, or anything that touched my ankle bone.

The good:

• I am planning to get into roller hockey in a couple months when the holes fill in.
• I will hopefully be able to wear any shoe/boot/skate I want soon.
• A new collection of highly specialized fasteners and a m/c reservoir bracket.
• Chicks dig scars.

The bad:

• Probably off the street for a couple of weeks - these stitches are in for three weeks.
• Definitely off the dirt bike for up to twelve weeks.  Doc’s orders of no ‘high impact sports’ for that duration.
• Don’t know when I’ll be able to mount the new track bike.
• The weather in Phoenix is perfect riding weather (sniff, sniff).
• Another example of my procrastination biting me in the arse.  I was going to get it done this summer when human spontaneous combustion runs rampant in the desert while I hibernate in the A/C.

The ugly:

• The nurse who was tending to me with the pre-op IV scared the b’jesus out of me.  She pointed to a miniature IV bag and said Dr. Lang likes to use Drug XXX as a prophylactic [(pause),(pause),(pause),(pause), (thought to self - holy crap I am in the wrong damn medical center.  GET ME OUT OF HERE!  ITS MY ANKLE YOU’RE WORKING ON, NOT MY…] medication for infection.  Heh - what happened is that she was writing something down at the same time she was explaining what was in that little bag and needed a moment of clarity to finish her scribing.  I did not appreciate her timing of that particular need.

So yet another delay in my quest to commute to work.  In all liklihood, I’ll be commuting within a couple of weeks.  I am pretty excited to be healed because four years of a shoe/boot restriction is a long time.

UPDATE 5Dec2006: Two weeks later things are going very well. The stitches got pulled out after only ten (10) days and I have been fully ‘released’ from further visits unless I choose. Admittedly, I did not finish my 40-pill antibiotic regimen as prescribed, not for any other reason than I am not good daily pill taker. I forget stuff like that. The antibiotic is necessary because “the foot is a pretty dirty area” according to my doctor.

I have been wearing a couple of different low cut shoe types so far without too much discomfort. The first two or three days, I went with a slipper or flip-flop. I do not limp 95% of the time and have traversed through airports already without using the old people golf carts. Most of the swelling is gone, but the immediate area surrounding the incisions are still tender to the touch (or impact).

I cannot brag enough about my speedy recovery without crediting my doctors at The Orthopedic Clinic Association in Phoenix, AZ. Dr. Jon Zoltan did the original bimalleolar fixation repair, and Dr. Steen Johnsen did the hardware removal. Both are excellent at what they do, in my opinion, given my results. I would recommend either of these two doc’s to anyone in the Phoenix area.

Life is good right now, and will only get better as my foot continues to heal.